Rok 2018 je opravdu plný velikých změn a jednou z nich je i ukončení 7letého a velice úspěšného projektu Ženy Ženám. Edita Berková si povídala se zakladatelkou tohoto projektu Alicí Kirš.
Podle mě se to stalo v momentu, kdy mi začaly tikat biologické hodiny, kdy jsem se otevřela přání stát se maminkou, když jsem začala toužit po dítěti. Což bylo před třemi lety.
Pamatuju si, že když jsem byla právě před třemi lety na podzim na Havaji, tak jsem tam udělala nebo spíš ke mně nějak přirozeně přišlo několik zásadních rozhodnutí.
Pustila jsem právě strach být máma, bála jsem se mít dítě, protože jsem to cítila jako ohrožení našeho vztahu s mým mužem, bála jsem se, že s dítětem přijdeme o blízkost a intimitu, kterou mezi sebou máme, a díky které jsme spolu už 11 let šťastní.
Taky jsem se rozhodla opustit manželovu firmu, ve které i přesto, že jsem měla Ženy ženám, jsem figurovala a v poslední době mně to bralo už dost energie. A já cítila, že potřebuju udělat prostor a místo miminku. A s tím souvisí i poslední rozhodnutí. Rozhodla jsem se, že si najdu někoho, kdo firmu povede, a mně to umožní se více uvolnit v tématu mateřství.
Takže už před těmi třemi lety jsem začala cítit, i když velmi slabě, že zřejmě nemohu být mámou takhle velkého projektu a později i firmy a mít dostatek prostoru na mateřství a vše, co s ním přijde.
K finálnímu rozhodnutí vedl skoro roční a poměrně náročný proces. Před rokem jsem se rozhodla, že zvětším tým a sama se odsunu do takové majitelské role, protože mateřství nepřicházelo a já uvnitř cítila, že to naše miminko prostě potřebuje mámu, co je v pohodě a má ze života radost.
A mě už Ženy ženám přestávaly těšit. Ta neradost se tak nějak přikrádala plíživě a nenápadně, společně s ní pak přicestovala tíha zodpovědnosti za tým, za provoz firmy, za finance, kterou jsem nedokázala pustit a během roku jsem několikrát padla na dno.
Na těch dnech – a bylo to většinou v období menstruace – moudré stařeny, jak se říká – jsem slyšela vnitřní hlas, který volal: „Já nechci mít firmu.“ Takových pádů jsem potřebovala ale zažít několik, než jsem se finálně rozhodla.
A taky než mi opravdu došlo, že záměr Ženy ženám byl naplněn a že už mě to prostě netěší a potřebuju to opustit. Stalo se to letos v květnu a celý příběh toho mého rozhodnutí si můžete přečíst na www.zenyzenam.cz/konci.
Jsem za ten rok velmi vděčná, i přesto, že byl náročný. Všechno to bylo moc důležité, protože to finální rozhodnutí jsem udělala s klidem a mírem v duši. Nebyl to nějaký panický útěk. Rozhodnutí prostě dozrálo a já myslím, že tak by to mělo být.
Strach z nové cesty kupodivu nemám. Naopak se na to těším. Za těch 34 let života už nějak tomu Vesmíru a něčemu vyššímu, než jsem já, důvěřuju. Důvěřuju, že když něco skončí, něco nového mi pošle, a já se na to překvapení těším. Už jsem párkrát na takovém začátku byla a vždycky to dobře dopadlo.
Taky si chci nějaký čas užít to NEVÍM. Ty volné dny. Ty prázdné dny. O prázdninách. :) Co si ale přeju, je vrátit se ke psaní a sdílet svůj životní příběh, zážitky a zkušenosti. Spisuju odmalička, a kvůli starostem o provoz a dění ve firmě jsem si na psaní skoro nedělala čas, takže k tomu bych se chtěla vrátit a napsat třeba další knihu.
Nejdůležitější je pravdivost sama k sobě, upřímnost sama k sobě a taky víra v to, že to prostě dobře dopadne, ať se rozhodnete jakkoliv. Protože když je to nejlepší pro vás, je to to nejlepší i pro všechny ostatní a to se mi teď s koncem ŽŽ krásně ukazuje.
Nikdo z mých spolupracovnic a spolupracovníků není naštvaný, a to někteří kvůli tomu přišli o práci. Vidí v tom novou příležitost pro sebe a přejí mi, abych byla šťastná. Taky doporučuju dát si čas. Ale takový přiměřený. Neutíkat z boje při prvním nepohodlí a zároveň nezůstávat v něčem, co už příliš dlouho nefunguje. A jakmile se vám z života začne vytrácet radost a lehkost, jděte – stejně jako já – jinam.
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